Weekends

So, it started last weekend, and judging by this weekend, its not planning on going away. I started drinking again last week, for some weird, unconscious reason i could just suddenly do it again, and in pretty fucking impressive magnitude as well. I spent a full 72 hours intoxicated, one night of which, i drained an entire fifth of vodka. Weekends are usually the time that I have to write my poetry and my short stories, but for the last two, I've just spent them completely wasted. Clearly that is no state to write anything in, at least for me. So with an entire 2/3 of a handle of vodka devoted to the past two nights (Saturday's "night" started at 3 PM) I am sort of getting a bit worried. I have never liked being drunk before, and I spent the first two weeks of the semester in such a fucking terrible state of mind it was ridiculous (I'm sure you guys all realized that). So I have no other thought than I am subconsciously drinking away some hidden awfulness in me, but my conscious is smart enough to know that doesn't work. I guess I'm just along for the ride, but yet again, I have no piece of my work to post because I haven't been writing at all. Good day.